Prepare the crust: Place 24 Oreo biscuits in a food processor and blitz until you have fine crumbs that look like dark sand. Pour in the melted butter and pulse again until the mixture feels like wet sand when pressed between your fingers. Transfer to a 9x13 inch baking dish and press firmly into an even layer using the back of a spoon. The surface should feel compact and smooth, with no loose crumbs. Place in the fridge to set while you prepare the filling.

Make the cream cheese layer: In a large mixing bowl, beat the softened cream cheese with an electric mixer until it looks pale and feels light and fluffy, about 2 minutes. Add the sifted icing sugar and vanilla extract, then beat again until the mixture is smooth and free of any lumps. The texture should be silky and spreadable, with no gritty sugar residue.

Whip the cream: In a separate bowl, pour the double cream and beat on medium-high speed until stiff peaks form. You will know it is ready when the cream holds its shape on the whisk and does not droop. Be careful not to over-whip, or the cream will turn grainy and separate. Fold the whipped cream into the cream cheese mixture gently using a spatula, working in a figure-eight motion until no white streaks remain. The final mixture should be thick, creamy, and hold its shape when lifted.

Assemble the middle layer: Crush the remaining 12 Oreo biscuits into rough chunks — you want some larger pieces for texture, not fine crumbs. Fold these chunks into the cream mixture. Spread half of this filling over the chilled crust, smoothing it into an even layer with a spatula. The surface should be flat and level, with no gaps at the edges.

Make the white chocolate topping: Place the chopped white chocolate and milk in a heatproof bowl set over a pan of simmering water. Stir gently until the chocolate is fully melted and the mixture looks glossy and thick. Remove from the heat and let it cool for 5 minutes — it should feel warm but not hot to the touch. Pour this over the cream layer and spread it evenly. The topping will look shiny and smooth as it settles.

Chill and set: Cover the dish with aluminium foil and refrigerate for at least 4 hours, ideally overnight. The dessert should feel firm to the touch and the layers should be clearly defined when you cut into it. I make this at least once a week — it's become a family favourite, and the wait is always worth it.